to be continued?

It's weird how sometimes things happen and you can't help but think that it's a lesson of some sort.. 

Last week was my first week back at work since the training in Nice. Those of you who have read my previous posts, know that I wasn't too happy with how the lessons went. I mean, I wasn't super disappointed like nothing that we've learnt was new, there was no growth nor development for me whatsoever. No, it wasn't like that. I just had high hopes and bigger expectations and was a little bit bummed that it didn't turn out the way I had wanted it to turn out. 

I thought the trainer was a little too inexperienced and timid. Wanted to please everybody too much. I can't put my finger on it, don't know exactly how I thought he should have been. Maybe more of an authority. Not in the sense of being strict (although that would've helped as well). But more so radiating knowledge and experience so we would have respect from the get go. You know?

Now, here comes the twist: Last week I had my firefighters' English class. I was well prepared, had everything there, had written down all the questions that may come up, anticipated the vocabulary they may wanna know. Though I was still tired from the trip back, I was feeling pretty confident. But, you know, then things happen. Things that may make you feel insecure. 

There was a new person in class. A students who is doing an internship at the civil protection department. He studies economics and administration. Right from the start I could see that he didn't really trust my abilities. He knew things better than me. Remembered vocabulary others asked quicker than me. Questioned my way of explaining grammar. And so on. At least it felt like that to me. 

When I left class that morning, I felt like I had failed. Like I hadn't done a good job. Over the years I've learnt to be kind(er) to myself and not beat myself up too much over a lesson that didn't go too well. So I calmed myself down pretty fast. This lesson made me remember my training in Nice though. What if the trainer just had a bad couple of days. You never know what people deal with and go through. Us teachers and trainers are always in the spot light. We always have to perform. Especially with adult learners I feel that there's a lot of pressure to do well, to make it worth their while. After all they're paying for it. 

Even with kids there's tons of pressure to perform. It's tough. We're all people. We can have bad days. It doesn't mean that we're bad teachers. It doesn't mean that we don't do a decent job. 

I feel like that was my lesson. I tend to be very critical when it comes to my own teaching. But also towards other people. I feel bad for criticizing our French trainer too much. And I feel like life taught me a lesson here.. 

How do you deal with failure? How do you manage situations like these? I'd be very interested to know.

Another thing I've been thinking about: Should I continue this blog? I feel like I do like to share my experiences as a trainer. Or helpful tools that make my teacher life easier. Or maybe even recipes ('cause I loooooove baking). Or maybe stuff that I write, poetry and such? I'd appreciate some feedback - very very very much appreciate it. Any way, shape or form, including the medium.

To make it a bit more fun, I thought I'd include a picture of Socca. It's a traditional street food dish from Nice. Unfortunately, we wanted to try it while in France, but didn't manage. So I figured, since it's easy to make, I'd give it a shot. Here's how it looked once prepared. You may wonder why there's a missing piece - well, I had to try, duuuhh. Socca is made from chickpea flour, olive oil, water and spices. It can be either made in the oven or in a pan. It's like bread that you can dip or put stuff on. Tastes nutty - pun intended.  

That's it. Over and out.